I happened to catch a 60 Minutes segment last night detailing a generation of Americans known as “Millennials.” I had never heard that term before, but apparently it translates roughly to “entitled, coddled, self-centered punks.” According to the report this new generation is going to, like, totally change the way the world works. You know, because life is hard and it’s totally reasonable to change things around to make it more comfortable for them.
It starts in childhood, when these snots play youth sports and get trophies just for showing up. Because the pain of not winning tee-ball is apparently too psychologically scarring for kids to handle anymore. It gets progressively worse, and reaches the point of parents bitching out college professors for deigning to give little Connor or Savannah anything less than an ‘A’ in class. Yes, this really happens.
And it gets worse still once these insulated little worms get jobs. One company featured in the segment, Zappos.com, coddles their employees with parties and nap rooms. I was reminded of all the dot coms in the late ’90s that were totally gonna change the way business was run. Thing is, most of those companies are gone now. It’s real easy to be loose and wacky when you are making money. Once real competition and financial struggles show up, watch that shit fly out the window.
A few thoughts occurred to me while watching this nauseating segment, which I will now share:
- I didn’t think it was possible, but we may finally have a generation of kids even more self-absorbed and detached from reality than the Baby Boomers.
- I can only pray that there enough Millennials who actually have a clue how the world works to prevent the rest of the mooks from totally sinking this country.
- As terrible as it was for my generation to be raised by parents who were either too busy to be more involved in our lives or who simply didn’t care, watching all these helicopter parents in action is much, much worse.
- These kids are in for a rude awakening at some point in their lives. The rest of the world is not interested in cutting us a break, and as even more of the globe competes for the same jobs and resources as we do, workers who do not grasp the concept of real competition will be left in the dust.
- Anyone in the Millennial generation who does have a real work ethic seems poised to succeed quite nicely.
- Finally, to any Millennial reading this who is tempted to have their mommy leave an angry comment because I was mean to them — you are not a unique and special little snowflake. Deal with it.
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