The following songs were played on at least one episode of Seinfeld, which started featuring much more non-original music during its last few seasons. There are numerous instances of songs being sung by characters on the show, but unless at least a small clip of the song was played or performed, they don’t qualify for my mixtape.

• “Desperado” and “Witchy Woman” (Eagles), heard on “The Checks” - Here’s a classic rock two-fer. “Desperado” is the beloved song of Elaine’s boyfriend, who is compelled to shush her when she talks during it. She tries to pick a song for the both of them, and decides on “Witchy Woman”. You know, Witch-aaay Woman.
• “Downtown” (Petula Clark), heard on “The Bottle Deposit, Part 1″ - You’ve got to go downtown. It’s all downtown. Just like the song says.
• “Everybody’s Talkin’” (Harry Nilsson), heard on “The Mom & Pop Store” - This is played at the end of the episode during an homage to Midnight Cowboy (Jerry and Kramer are taking a bus to New Jersey and Kramer’s nose starts bleeding).
• “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)” (Green Day), heard on “The Clip Show, Part 2″ - This was used to good effect during a montage of bloopers and behind-the-scenes clips, in one of the rare instances where the show attempted to convey some genuine heartfelt emotion.
• “Hello” (Lionel Richie), heard on “The Engagement”, “The Invitations”, and “The Voice” - The only musical trifecta in Senfield history, Lionel Richie’s smash 1984 hit accompanied various scenes showing the show’s characters deep in thought or remembrance.
• “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” (Iron Butterfly), heard on “The Slicer” - Elaine blasts this in her apartment to drown out the sound of the neighbor’s starving cat. The performance is cut short when the power goes out.
• “Mañana (Is Soon Enough for Me)” (Jackie Davis), heard on “The Blood” - Yeah, I didn’t know what the name of this was either when I first heard it. It’s the bouncy little organ number heard while Kramer and Newman are making sausages in Jerry’s apartment. A copy can be found on Volume 2 of the wonderful Ultra-Lounge series, Mambo Fever.
• “Mexican Radio” (Wall of Voodoo), heard on “The Reverse Peephole” - The actual song isn’t played until the very end, during the graphic for the show’s production company, but earlier in the episode Kramer sings it to himself while installing a reverse peephole in his front door.
• “Morning Train (Nine to Five)” (Sheena Easton), heard on “The Bizarro Jerry” and “The Butter Shave” - While not reaching the heights of Lionel Richie-dom, this little slice of pop bliss still holds the rare distinction of being used twice on the show; first on “The Bizarro Jerry” during a montage showing the commuting hassles Kramer endured during his brief tenure at Brandt/Leland, and then on “The Butter Shave” as George revels in the favored status his fake handicap earns him at Play Now.
• “Shining Star” (Earth, Wind & Fire), heard on “The Little Kicks” - I for one never get tired of watching Elaine do her trademark funky dance at her office’s party. This is the song that inspires what George later termed “a full body dry heave set to music.” She later busted a move in “The Slicer” episode to Foghat’s “Slow Ride”.
• “Vesti la Giubba” (from Pagliacci) (Ruggero Leoncavallo), heard on “The Opera” - I’ve never thought to use opera as workout music, but that’s just what Crazy Joe Davola does as he bench presses and weeps while listening to this timeless tenor aria.

Bonus tracks

• “Adagio for Strings” (Samuel Barber), heard on “The Fatigues”
• Music from The Barber of Seville (Gioachino Rossini), heard on “The Barber”
• “La donna è mobile” (from Rigoletto) (Giuseppe Verdi), heard on “The Maestro”
• “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough” (Michael Jackson), heard on “The Clip Show, Part 2″
• “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)” (C+C Music Factory), heard on “The Little Kicks”
• “O mio babbino caro” (from Gianni Schicchi) (Giacomo Puccini), heard on “The Maestro”
• “Piano Sonata No. 8 in C minor, op. 13 (Pathétique)” (Ludwig van Beethoven), heard on “The Pez Dispenser”
• “Theme from The Godfather (Main Title)” (Nino Rota), heard on “The Bris”
• “Theme from Superman (Main Title)” (John Williams) heard on “The Race” and “The Clip Show, Part 1″
• “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” (The Beach Boys), heard on “The Hamptons”

I’m not sure what the origin of the whole “desert island” thing is when referring to music, movies, and other stuff you really like. Why not a tropical island? That one Tom Hanks got stuck on in Cast Away seemed pretty nice, didn’t it?

Oh right, the point. So apropos of nothing, I recently participated in a fantasy draft on a favorite message board of mine. But instead of drafting a sports team, we picked from a list of every song that has ever reached #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, now in its 50th year. The only catch was that each team had to select at least two songs from each decade (’58 - ‘69 was lumped together). That made things interesting, because the pickings for truly good #1 songs started to get real slim starting in the 1990s.

Overall I’m pleased with my team, which is as follows (in order of selection):

1. “The Way You Move” - OutKast, 2004. Went with this one first because, as I mentioned, the post-1999 pool was shallow and I didn’t want to get saddled with “Laffy Taffy”. Also, “Hey Ya!” was already taken.
2. “Paperback Writer” - The Beatles, 1966. I’d be remiss if I didn’t take my favorite Beatles tune of all-time.
3. “Penny Lane” - The Beatles, 1967. My 2nd favorite.
4. “Rock with You” - Michael Jackson, 1980
5. “You Are the Sunshine of My Life” - Stevie Wonder, 1973
6. “More Than Words” - Extreme, 1991. I’m aware that for many people this song is musical shorthand for “shitty 90s ballad,” but I happen to like it. This is basically an update on the Everly Brothers sound, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
7. “Owner of a Lonely Heart” - Yes, 1984
8. “Theme from Shaft” - Isaac Hayes, 1971
9. “This Used to Be My Playground” - Madonna, 1992. Because I have a soft side too!
10. “Music” - Madonna, 2000. Not a huge fan of this one, but it fulfilled my ‘01-’08 requirement and is an OK song.
11. “I Can’t Go for That (No Can Do)” - Daryl Hall and John Oates, 1982. H&O is another group that is unfairly maligned as being totally uncool.
12. “Heartache Tonight” - Eagles, 1979
13. “Sleepwalk” - Santo & Johnny, 1959. “Riiiiiiichiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!”
14. “A View to a Kill” - Duran Duran, 1985. About the only good thing to come from that abomination of a movie.
15. “West End Girls” - Pet Shop Boys, 1986
16. “Tighten Up” - Archie Bell & the Drells, 1968
17. “You’re No Good” - Linda Ronstadt, 1975. I do love the later Van Halen version, but this one is really quite good.
18. “My Love” - Paul McCartney and Wings, 1973
19. “New Kid in Town” - Eagles, 1977
20. “Batdance” - Prince, 1989. A lot of Prince fans like to pretend this song never happened, but I celebrate it. “This town needs an enema!”
21. “Abracadabra” - Steve Miller Band, 1982
22. “If You Leave Me Now” - Chicago, 1976. I definitely prefer the edgier Chicago found on their first 5 or 6 albums, but this is a soft rock gem that cannot be denied.
23. “Lady Marmalade” - LaBelle, 1975
24. “The Power of Love” - Huey Lewis & the News, 1985

I think if I had to be stuck on a desert island with only these songs, I might be able to stave off insanity for at least a few years.

Looking back, mixtapes sure were a pain in the ass to put together. But man, were they fun. So for just a minute, let’s imagine iPods don’t exist (I know, scary) and we are putting together a new one. The ground rules for the songs on this mixtape are:

• Each song was released as the B-side of a commercially available single.
• The songs did not appear on a regular album (at least not at first).
• No more than one song per band.
• I must like the song (the critical part).

1. “Total Eclipse” (Iron Maiden) - Over the years Iron Maiden has compiled what is probably the strongest collection of B-sides in heavy metal history. This one nearly made it onto the group’s seminal 1982 album, The Number of the Beast, but was left off and instead included on the “Run to the Hills” single. The band has since rectified that oversight by including it on a subsequent reissue of the album.
2. “Unchained Melody” (The Righteous Brothers) - I can’t hold it against the Righteous Brothers that this song is forever linked with the image of Patrick Swayze coming back from the dead to make some sex-ay pottery with Demi Moore. The fact is that this song is one of the prime example of how potent Phil Spector’s Wall of Sound treatment was. It’s also de rigeur at wedding receptions, and one of the great ballads of the 1960s to boot.
3. “Crossing Over” (Van Halen) - This dark, brooding piece was originally recorded in 1983 and features Eddie Van Halen playing all the instruments. It was updated a decade later with new lyrics by Sammy Hagar, written as a tribute to recently deceased manager and friend Ed Leffler. It nearly made the final cut for 1995’s Balance, but was relegated to the B-side of the rather bland “Can’t Stop Loving You.” It was included as a bonus track on the Japanese album release. This is an atypical VH song, in that Eddie’s guitar provides more atmosphere than the usual lead fireworks.
4. “Hiro’s Song” (Ben Folds) - I was totally bummed when Ben Folds Five broke up, but when I heard Ben’s first solo album, Rockin’ the Suburbs, I felt a whole lot better. One of the best songs from those recording sessions concerns Hiro, a rather unhappy guy going through a mid-life crisis. Instead of buying a convertible, he leaves his family and starts dating his secretary. Sadly, this new relationship isn’t very fulfilling. Sounds a little depressing, right? I’d think so too if I hadn’t actually heard the song. One of Folds’ best.
5. “In the Still of the Nite” (The Five Satins) - Thanks in some part to its inclusion on the Dirty Dancing soundtrack, this classic ballad is one of the most instantly recognizable Doo-Wop songs ever. But for its initial release - as “I’ll Remember (In the Still of the Night)” - it was the B-side to the now-forgotten “The Jones Girl.” Listen to any oldies station (any that are still left) and before long you’ll hear the famous “sho doe, sho be doe” vocal harmony.
6. “Revolution” (The Beatles) - Despite Nike’s best efforts to destroy this song with crass commercialization, it remains one of the many gems in the Fab Four’s catalog. It features some of John Lennon’s more politically charged lyrics, and a scorching arrangement that wastes no time by opening with a distorted guitar riff and primal wail from Lennon. The Beatles recorded a slew of classic B-sides during their career, but this is my favorite of the bunch.
7. “Murder By Numbers” (The Police) - This song, left off the mega-seller Synchronicity but added on subsequent re-issues, perfectly blends Sting’s pop sensibilities with Andy Summers’ angular guitar work. The lyrics (written either from the point-of-view of a professional killer or by an aspiring one) are some of the most macabre to be heard in a pop song. And of course, the musicianship of the trio is top-notch.
8. “Dear God” (XTC) - This track was not included with the group’s classic Skylarking album, but was quickly added when it proved to be more popular than the album tracks. Although Andy Partridge can be rather flowery with his lyrics, on this song he’s about as subtle as a punch in the face. The angry, anti-theistic tone of the song is enhanced by having the first few verses (and the last) sung by a child.
9. “Evidence of Autumn” (Genesis) - My love for this song has already been documented. It was recorded during the sessions for Duke - is the equal of anything on the album - and was the B-side of the “Misunderstanding” single. Tony Banks was at the peak of his powers here, and crafted a bittersweet song that never fails to get to me.
10. “Hey Hey What Can I Do” (Led Zeppelin) - My first exposure to this laid-back classic was as part of Zep’s 1990 box set. This song is a rarity in the Led Zeppelin catalog - a non-album track appearing as a B-side (in this case, with “Immigrant Song”). The production style clearly marks it as coming from the Led Zeppelin III sessions, but it could just as easily been included on the first album.