Now I don’t remember getting any Cracker Jack in my bag when I went panhandling for goodies (aka ‘trick or treat’).  And even if I had I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have had the gall to stand there and eat it right there on the person’s front walk.  (Cracker Jack, 1954)

Witchcraft?  No, that’s just Procter & Gamble’s patented Flexinol system at work.  (Hidden Magic hair spray, 1965)

Here we see an early incarnation of what later became the iconic Sugar Bear mascot.  God I hope those dark things in the bowl are berries.  (Sugar Crisp cereal, 1955)

“Psst!  This is the house that has the Brach’s!  OK Jimmy, you cut the phone line.  Tommy, you pick the lock.  Susie, you make sure those neighbors don’t come nosin’ around.  And Ralph, you try not to suffocate yourself in that stupid goblin mask.  OK, let’s move people!”  (Brach’s Candy, 1959)

And speaking of stupid masks - if you grew up during my generation then you probably remember the ubiquitous and awesome mass-produced children’s costume combo sets.  Turns out they weren’t always quite so cheap.  (Sears Roebuck Christmas catalog, 1965)

By the late ’70s/early ’80s things had gotten much worse, and manufacturers such as Ben Cooper turned out those flimsy mask/smock costumes by the metric shit-ton.

Just what every dad wants this Hallowe’en season!  (Ballantine Ale, 1955)

And finally, here’s one of my personal favorites from a time when commercials didn’t (or couldn’t) rely on fancy computer technology to sell something.  Dammit, I want my McNugget puppets back!  (McDonald’s, c. 1980s)

In retrospect, it seems like such a simple concept that it’s hard to believe it hadn’t been fully explored before - a psychopath is on the loose in the town of Haddonfield, Illinois and strikes during the most sinister day of the year…Tax Day!  No, actually it’s Halloween.

Director and co-writer Carpenter took a $325,000 budget and spun a tale that relied as much on an atmosphere of dread and anticipation as on outright violence (and even that violence is tame compared to today’s standards).  Contributing to this atmosphere was Carpenter’s iconic score, played pretty much entirely on piano and synthesizer.

After a slow start at the box office, Halloween picked up steam and eventually grossed about $55 million worldwide, catapulting Carpenter and star Jamie Lee Curtis into the big time.  It - and its numerous sequels - also gave the inimitable Donald Pleasence steady work for the ensuing 15 or 16 years until his death.  The original film was reimagined by Rob Zombie in 2007, but I don’t want to talk about that.

Those familiar with the movie probably recognize this image - it’s the main promotional poster used in the U.S., and was designed by Bob Gleason (who went on to create the artwork for Halloween II and III.)

Pretty effective if you ask me, even with the rather prominent veins on the back of the hand.  Is that some kind of common trait with serial killers?

Ah!  Germans!

Seriously, leave it to our Teutonic friends to take a scary concept and make it even weirder.  I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a jack o’ lantern or that weird mask thing from Super Mario Bros. 3.  Anyway, the subtitles translate to “The Night of Horrors” and “The night he came home.”  The knife is downsized from the American version and looks more like a switchblade here.

Here’s the French poster, in case you couldn’t tell.  Pretty much a straight lift from the American, other than the translation of the title to La Nuit des Masques, or The Night of Masks.  Ooh la la!

Forget what I said about that West German poster - the Japanese trump them for sheer weirdness.  Witness Michael Myers, who appears to have traded in his trademark William Shatner mask for a Dr. Zaius model.  Or maybe it’s supposed to be a simian Mr. Roboto motif.

And I have the proof right here, in the form of two Burger King print ads from 1976.  There’s no pandering or awkward attempts to integrate black culture here.  Well, perhaps a small one in the first ad (can you spot it?).

Your eye may first be drawn by those groovy fashions, but I immediately took note of the old-school wood decor found in BK establishments of the time.  Sadly, that wooden sign and many like it are either rotting away in landfills or were burned.  The pattern shirts share the same fate, if we’re lucky.

(Image credit: I nabbed these from the aptly named Flickr set, 1970s Era Ads Targeting African American Consumers.)

Now I don’t recall ever getting that pumped over looking up where John Quincy Adams was born*, but I don’t doubt that many a young man did experience that feeling of euphoria.  And hey, you know Britannica was the bee’s knees because they had that funky æ character in the title.

This particular ad was published in 1994, just as the internet was poised to set new standards of speed in the research and plagiarizing of information.  So anyone lucky enough to have spent the coin needed to get this set at least got a few years out of them before they become obsolete.

*Braintree, Massachusetts

First things first: let’s fire up the grill!  (Kingsford Match Light charcoal, 1981)

Who’s up for some hot diggity dogs??? (Armour Franks, 1956)

Or maybe burgers are more your style?  Don’t forget the ketchup/catsup! (Hunt’s Tomato Catsup, 1954)

I don’t know about you, but cleaning all those dirty glasses can be a real drag.  So break out the plastic and raise a big middle finger to the planet. (Dixie Cups, 1954)

And finally, let’s not forget the refreshments.  I brought some soda for the kiddies… (Coca-Cola, 1967)

And something with a little more kick for the folks. (Schlitz beer, 1964)

I almost forgot - you can’t go home without taking some leftovers! (Tupperware, 1962)

So let’s take a quick trip back to the days when the record was king, and ads like this one from 1957 - for the nifty Motorola Calypso turntable - were ubiquitous.

It’s probably too small to see in its reduced size, but the record lying on the floor in the bottom right is simply titled “Pop Music.” Awesome. I’m guessing the kitchen this swingin’ party is being held in is stocked full of “Soda” and “Potato Chips.”

And I can’t help but feel bad for the girl in the blue vinyl shoes, who must be so homely that the only dancing partner she could find looks like he wears his party clothes for his job as a chimney sweep.

But it wasn’t always this way. Despite the gritty origins of the character, ol’ Bats had become a bit watered down by about the mid-1950s. This is due to a number of factors, but chief among them was the restrictions placed on all comics by establishment of the Comics Code Authority in 1954. The height of the character’s neutering came about, however, with the 1966 debut of the Batman television series.

Thanks to the initial success of the show, a feature-length movie was filmed in April/May 1966 and released in July. It was accompanied, naturally, by a host of printed materials such as posters and whatnot. Many of these posters reflect the campy nature of the show and movie. Others are…well, they’re actually rather scary. Let’s take a look…

Here’s a pretty common poster used in the U.S. Not a bad effort, but it’s a rather lazy cut ‘n’ paste job.

Holy nightmare juice, Batman! Leave it to the Germans. I can’t really tell who the villain is supposed to be here. On the left it appears that the Caped Crusader, on some sort of meth high, is gleefully skipping away after leaving poor Robin hanging on a high five. Meanwhile, the Riddler is totally checking out Catwoman’s ass.

Things aren’t looking much better over on the right, where Adam West (who has moved on to Ecstasy) seems to be anticipating the iconic image of Mena Suvari in American Beauty, while lounging atop a Japanese flag.

Ooooh, almost! This poster from Belgium almost had it all. It wisely included live-action shots of Robin, Catwoman, and the Riddler. As a bonus it features images of the Batcopter and Batboat. Can you guess where it went wrong? If you guessed “oddly rendered drawing of Batman with the Amazing Technicolor body odor”, give yourself a gold star.

Just to the southeast, France actually turned in a credible effort. While this type of ad certainly wouldn’t work for today’s Bat-movies, it at least picks a style and sticks with it. At least there’s nothing outright weird or embarrassing here (really, how cool can you make Adam West’s Batman look anyway?). And you just know they so wanted to place a cigarette between Catwoman’s fingers.

And hey, Argentina did an OK job too. Not many points for artistic merit, but it gets the job done.

And finally - I don’t know who put this together but it’s quite clever. I got it from the Bat-Blog.  I give you…Batman Began!

To celebrate this auspicious occasion, I’ve grabbed a sample of beer ads throughout the years. Because I know how to party.

Hamm’s

Click here to view the embedded video.

From the Land of Sky Blue Waters (Minnesota) comes this vintage TV ad for Hamm’s combines a few of my favorite commercial elements - wonderful animation and a super-catchy jingle. Sascha, the Hamm’s Beer bear, was used in ads for about three decades. Of course I wouldn’t be too thrilled over seeing the source water for my beer being used as a wild animal’s playground, but whatever.

Guinness

Guinness has produced some of the finest ads of any product that I can think of. Throughout the 1930s and ‘40, John Gilroy illustrated a series of them that is iconic to say the least. A number of animals are shown in the ads, but the toucan is probably the most instantly recognizable one.

Miller Lite

Click here to view the embedded video.

I pity the kids of today, growing up without awesome beer ad campaigns like Miller Lite’s famous “Taste Great, Less Filling” series. These tongue-in-cheek spots were a Who’s Who of A and B-list sports celebrities of the ’70s and ’80s, including Bob Uecker, Bubba Smith, Dick Butkus, and Ben Davidson.

Schooner Beer

I will drink a beer. I will pound a beer. I’ve even been known to chug a beer. But I’ll be damned if I will ever “quaff” a beer.

Schlitz Malt Liquor

OK, it’s not quite regular beer, but I can’t miss this opportunity to praise the wonderful ads of Schlitz Malt Liquor. Here’s the typical scenario: previously flavor-starved beer drinkers step up to the pleasures of Schlitz Malt Liquor, then a bull inexplicably charges through a wall/door/window (fans of Johnny Dangerously should remember the Schlitz reference in the scene where Danny DeVito’s character dies). To wit, a typical Schlitz ad:

Click here to view the embedded video.

But even better is the iconic image of the charging bull combined with the awesomely entertaining dancing of the Lockers, featuring one Mr. Fred “Rerun” Berry!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Budweiser

The ad says Budweiser is good. The guy’s face says “Bud?  Are you f*@$ing kidding me?”

Enter…the TV Stratolounger with Relax-A-Vision©, circa 1960.

Honestly, does life get any better than this? Wait, don’t answer that, Maverick is about to start.

You kids can have your Webkinzes and your Dora the Explorer crap. Back in my day - well, maybe a little past my day - we had real toys. Why, take these Beverly Hills, 90210 dolls. No seriously, take them. Sadly, it seems this set didn’t include Brian Austin Green, probably because his character hadn’t completely sold his soul and driven his best friend to suicide yet, all in an effort to get with the in-crowd.

Even sadder is the lack of everyone’s second-favorite television restaurateur, Nat. Despite this, you have to admit this is one rad set of dolls. I’m not sure how you’re supposed to play with them, however. I guess they could preen around your playroom/bedroom and ostracize your other dolls and action figures.

Alas, not even the gang at West Beverly High is as confident and independent as their kickin’ clothes and carefully manicured hair-dos would indicate: