The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit

It’s a momentous day here at GFS HQ – for today this site welcomed it’s 100,000th visitor.  Seems this site is picking up a little bit of steam, since it took two years to reach the 50,000 mark, and in the 14 months since then I’ve doubled that.  But a picture tells a thousand words, so let me show you just how-far reaching this site is by using a graph from Alexa:

OK, maybe it doesn’t look impressive at first glance but consider this – right now my worldwide site ranking (based on a 3-month rolling average) is 1,578,651, which means I’m just 1,478,651 spots away from showing up on that graph.  Boo-yah!

Now I just need Alycia Lane to do something wacky.

(OK, so this is weird.  I had this post in the can, waiting until #100,000 before publishing.  Sure enough, #100K was looking for Alycia Lane pictures.  Sigh.)

Even if you’re not a huge fan of curling, you’re probably familiar by now with John Shuster’s underwhelming performance as captain of the U.S. team at this year’s Winter Olympics.  Through four matches, Shuster and the boys have zero wins.  But what makes this year’s futility especially painful is Shuster’s propensity for coming up short at crucial moments.  Three matches have been lost because he couldn’t make his final stone count.

Well the mob has spoken and they’re not happy.  In addition to the deluge of anti-Shuster Tweets, the captain’s Wikipedia entry has undergone some creative editing.  Luckily it’s all saved in the article history.  Here are a few choice ones just from today (in addition to the edits that show him as deceased):

• A personal tidbit – “Shuster failed four times to make a game-winning shot in the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. He chokes more than a prostitute.”
• Interesting - “Growing up Shuster was an avid baseball fan. In 2003, he attended a playoff baseball game. When a foul ball was headed towards the stands, he made a play for it but unsurprisingly he couldn’t make the play. Steve Bartman is now blamed for the epic loss because Shuster couldn’t make the play.”
• Now that’s just mean – “John Shuster has single handedly ruined the USA chances to compete for the gold. He missed 3 final shots that could have been made by a one armed, one legged, brainless monkey”
• I didn’t know this was his nickname – “John “chokey mcchokestein” Shuster (born November 3, 1982) is an American curler from Chisholm, Minnesota and Olympic medalist.”  (another variation had his occupation as “choker”.)
• Sorry to hear that – “After the lost to Denmark, Shuster’s fiancee officially denounced their relationship, stating that he would have failed as a husband down the line sooner or later. Shuster’s father is currently disappoint.”
• Can’t argue there – “Shuster won the 2010 United States Olympic Curling Trials and is destroying the reputation of the United States at the 2010 Olympic Games in Vancouver.”
• Here’s a whole bunch of gems:
  • “He currently works as a quality control specialist for Toyota.”
  • “Upon John’s pathetic performance at the 2010 games, he has decided to retire from the sport. And an hero.”
  • “In a side note, in 2008 Shuster attempted to commit suicide. Unsurprisingly to those who know him and have watched him play, he failed at the attempt; Shuster used a gun and once again completely messed up the shot.”
  • “Shuster’s 2005 college roommate stated that he only bought Shuster a shot once. He said that after the first attempt, he never trusted Shuster with a shot ever again.”
  • “Shuster has come to be known as the biggest choke artist of the 2010 Winter Olympics, and is the lone reason the USA curling team has not won a single game this Olympics.”
  • “Shuster said he draws inspiration from Bill Buckner, Brad Lidge, Scott Norwood, and the city of Cleveland.”
  • “Nicknamed “The Largest Choke Artist Alive”, Shuster distracts his opponents with horrible shots and general terrible overall play. He is known for folding under pressure situations and never making clutch, let alone easy, shots.”
• Of interest to etymologists – “The term “you messed up,” has officially been replaced by “you Shustered it.”"
• Yes, but has he ever vomited during play? - “His inability to hammer out points in clutch situations, such as during the 2010 Olympic games, Shuster has recently become known as the Donovan McNabb of professional curling.”

Anyway, you get the point.  Look on the bright side John – if nobody cared about curling they wouldn’t bother castigating you like this, right?

By the way, what’s Pete Fenson up to these days?

As a middle-class white male, I know I’m not really in much of a position to bitch about being overlooked or disadvantaged.  Still, I’ll admit feeling a bit like the odd man out when one of my (formerly) favorite fast food establishments, McDonald’s, launched their “I’m Lovin’ It” ad campaign in 2003.  Few things are more transparent and painful than when a business makes an obvious attempt to pander to minorities, because they usually do such a piss poor job.

Oh sure, fast food chains targeting black people is nothing new, so that’s no big deal in and of itself.  But historically for TV ads, it seems the chains had their regular campaigns and then they had their “black” ads, replete with awful R&B-esque music and sad attempts to look hip.  But McDonald’s took it to a whole new level with “I’m Lovin’ It”, which featured a rapping soccer mom in one early spot.  Oh yeah, and this gem, which aired in Russia:

Now that’s commitment to a campaign.

So anyway, as much as I hated – nay, loathed – this lame campaign for years, I can’t help but chuckle at Mickey D’s attempt to show their love for African-Americans on the web.  That’s right, their is a McDonald’s website just for black people – 365BLACK!  It’s the one place on the web, I guess, where black people who don’t want their fast food experience to end with diarrhea can hang out and check out just how much McDonald’s cares about them.  After all:

At McDonald’s^®, we believe that African-American culture and achievement should be celebrated 365 days a year “” not just during Black History Month. That’s the idea behind 365Black.com. It’s a place where you can learn more about education, employment, career advancement and entrepreneurship opportunities, and meet real people whose lives have been touched by McDonald’s. Plus, you can also have a chance to win exciting once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. So make sure you visit often “” you just might get inspired.

Like the unique African Baobab tree, which nourishes its community with its leaves and fruit, McDonald’s has branched out to the African-American community nourishing it with valuable programs and opportunities.

Hmmm, I wonder if any of those valuable programs and opportunities mention anything about the dangerously high obesity rates for African-Americans in this country?  Nope.  Well at least they probably have regularly scheduled special events to emphasize the special relationship McDonald’s has with the black community.  Oops. It seems like there hasn’t been anything new for black people to celebrate since the Essence Music Festival in July 2009.  I guess in the meantime you could head over to the company’s sites for Asians (Myinspirasian) or Hispanics (MeEncanta).

Thanks for marginalizing me McDonald’s.  So where can I, as a white person, connect with an eating establishment that truly cares about my white needs and white eating preferences?  I think that should be obvious.

Alright, I’m probably stretching the definition of “vintage” pretty thin here.  But here’s the thing – even though this magazine (found in a Best Western in Quakertown, PA just last year) was published in 1996, it sure seems like a lifetime ago.  That’s because even more than clothes or hairstyles, few things can almost instantly date a publication like images of current technology.

Don’t believe me?  Well here’s just a sampling of the pictures and ads scattered throughout the 1996 Best Western/AT&T Business Resource Guide, a publication for the modern executive on the go…into a time warp.  (for fun slideshow action, click here)

Read on Daddy-O…

I’ll start off by stating that I don’t care that Clay Aiken has finally decided to let us in on the painfully obvious – he’s gay.  I’m offended not by his sexual orientation (I am a huge fan of Queen and Judas Priest after all), but rather by his mediocre and boring music.  But while Aiken’s revelation met with a resounding “meh” from most of the American public, there is a subset of the population – self-titled ClayMates – who have had a hard time keeping the old stiff upper lip, as it were.

Here’s a sampling of dispatches from deep inside ClayNation – The Clayboard forums.  Read and weep, my friends:

“This is a gut wrenching day for The ClayNation. Somebody wake me up, I hope its a dream.” – strollynn63

“I wish him well and hope he gets some peace of mind now BUT I feel he lied to everyone-especially us fans. He should have just said so years ago. I feel like we were “used”. I still love to hear him sing but I also feel he has now become like a Michael Jackson and it’s a bit too weird! He isn’t just the plain ordinary person with the values he first stood for.-but it’s just my opinion.” – NJ4ClayA

“please tell me I’m not the only one who is shocked beyond belief! I feel numb I’m so upset. This can’t be real!! How can you guys say this won’t change anything? This changes EVERYTHING. I don’t even know what to think right now.” – Holmes24

“Okay, i’m going to come right off and say that when I saw it, I did cry. and I probably will if and when it is confirmed. Which will be tomorrow morning hopefully. I’ll probably be late for my first class, because i’ll be surfing the internet in the library. I knew in my heart for awhile that he was-…but my head was having nothing to do with it. I knew it might come eventually, but again my brain denyed it. I’m sure its a shock to all of us, weather we believe it or not. And for all those people who think he lied to all of us, I say whatever. I’m glad he picked now to say this and not a few years ago. He has gathered many fans over the years and im sure that if he had come out before, that there wouldnt be as many.” – MissMuffins31

“I am very very sad.” - RedBay

“I don’t understand how anyone can say that this changes nothing. It’s as simple as this for me: Clay is NOT the person I thought he was. I can’t look at him the same way again and this is killing me. I want SO bad to feel the same about him but right now I just can’t. And the funny thing is I have NO problem with gay people. But it’s just that he lied about it and I can’t forgive him.” – Holmes24 (again)

“I’ve cried a river of tears and truthfully do not know where I stand right now. I am envious of those who can take this news and continue to state their unconditional love and support for Clay. Right now all I can think of is that he is a fantastic entertainer but I took him at his word and it appears that his word isn’t what I thought it was.” – clayncfan

“I have defended Clay for years against these accusations. What do I say now?” – kwiltro

I’ll tell you what you can say, kwiltro.  You stand tall, you look those people right in the eye and you say in your most confident voice, “I LOVE SHITTY MUSIC, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT!?!?”

Music lovers will have one less place to discover new music if the worst comes to pass, and internet radio pioneer Pandora shuts down as threatened.  And that would be a damn shame for me, as I’ve discovered a lot of wonderful new artists and songs through the service.

For those who haven’t used the (free) site, Pandora basically works like this – you create a “station” by entering an artist or a song you like.  The site, taking advantage of the Music Genome Project, streams random tracks that share similar qualities to your selection.  As each song plays, you can issue a “thumbs up” or “thumbs down”, and that further fine-tunes what you hear.

It’s a fantastic idea, and as I said I’ve found a lot of great stuff using it.  But its existence is now threatened, thanks to a 2007 ruling from the U.S. Copyright Royalty Board.  That ruling more than doubles by 2010 the royalties that internet-based radio stations must pay to stream music.  The problem is that while a terrestrial radio station only plays one song at a time, internet radio can play multiple ones at the same time (in Pandora’s case, they can serve thousands of songs at any moment).  Since most of these outlets are struggling for revenue as it is, the future of internet radio is very dark indeed.

Negotiations are underway to bring some sanity to the issue, but from reading the public comments by Pandora founder Tim Westergren I don’t hold out a lot of hope.  It sounds more like a matter of when than if.

While Pandora would be far from the only casualty here, they would be one of the more notable ones.  And with their demise, the music industry would have once again shot themselves in their already bullet-riddled foot.  A truly innovative way for artists to get their music heard would be sealed off due to the short-sighted pursuit of the dollar.

Your U.S. Copyright Royalty Board - Thanks, assholes!

I’m certainly not suggesting that Pandora be allowed to play songs for free, but my mind reels when I try to think of a good reason for allowing this potentially beneficial avenue for music promotion to die on the vine without finding some sort of mutually beneficial compromise.  I guess the music industry feels that 100% of nothing is better than 1% of something.

Luckily there are still other viable alternatives for discovering and exploring music, like last.fm.  But I have to think that even their future would be called into question at some point.

I can certainly appreciate the audiophile mentality. Paying top dollar for good musical equipment is not wasted money in my opinion. Usually. And then there’s the Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable, modestly priced at $500.

You heard that right, $500 for a 59-inch copper cable. Let that sink in for a minute. And then check out some of the product reviews on Amazon.com. Here’s a few of my favorites:

This Cable Improved my Health!

Thank you Denon. I suffer from a rare R/F allergy which makes it nearly impossible for me to leave my lead lined sarcophagus (unless there is a power outage). Generally i can only listen to music on an accoustic gramaphone and hence my library consists entirely of John Phillips Suza. That all changed when i got the Denon AKDL1 dream maker. No random photons here! I’ve integrated the cable into a bucket i’ve lined with tinfoil and now my library has already expanded to include Count Basie and Sir-Mix-Alot. Life is once again worth living.

Use at your own risk!

I installed one of these cables between my gigabit ethernet switch and my Canon Pixma 6700 color printer. I know it’s not a sanctioned use, but I was looking for the ultimate in speed and fidelity. I’m freaky that way.

The first time I downloaded a picture to the printer over this cable, the bits moved so fast the printer collapsed into a naked singularity, right there in my office.

Since then, I can’t find the cat, and my entire set of VAX/VMS 4.7 documentation (DEC Will Rise Again!) (Mmmmm, orangey!) has gone missing.

Please, for the love of God, please, do not use these cables. The very existence of earth may hinge on you!

Give it time…

All of you skeptics out there have obviously overlooked the most important feature of all – the “anti-aging properties”! YOU can buy $5 cables if you want to, but YOU’LL BE DEAD IN 100 YEARS! Meanwhile I, vitalized by my Denon AKDL1s (I think I’ll buy 2, just in case), will be dancing on your graves 500 years from now. Unless I have something better to do.

P. de Leon

Looking for Freedom Has Never Sounded Better

I was drinking a hot cup of Hoffee when this cable finally came in the mail. It is so revolutionary, the when the mailman pressed the doorbell, it shattered all the windows in my home, similar to the sonic boom created by the Olson twins’ bizjet flying Lance Armstrong to New York. I delicately placed the sanctified spaghetti string between my 1995 IBM Aptiva Pentium w/MMX technology (makes the media player visualizer so much more intense) computer and my 2.5 watt 7.2 Klipsch speaker setup wired around the doghouse. I have never heard sleep-depriving white noise played so accurately, or with such attitude, continuously. It’s almost as if pieces of the ethereal Ethernet cable are being pumped through the speaker cones, as if Klipsch and Denon secretly collaborated to design a speaker/cable setup that actually throws gold particles at my eardrums, and those of my beloved but sleep-deprived puppies. I am almost 100% sure this cable was used in David Hasselhoff’s Looking for Freedom concert atop the Berlin Wall, the very same show that ended communism in Europe. While listening to the Hoffenschosh’s albums, I noted that Hot Shot City is particulary good.