Click on any image to see the full-size version. Or you can go back to the catalog home. Simply adorable. I always find it a little weird when kids pose like adults for fashion pictures. I do like the subtle Pooh belt buckle. Ah, velour. The official fabric of the mob hitman just looking to relax around the house. Hey it’s Toughskins! And the worst cut and paste job since the Lee Harvey Oswald rifle photo. Would any self-respecting girl want a Popeye patch on her jeans? I wouldn’t think so. Since I was of the right age for this catalog section, I can assure you that I either wore or wanted at least one of these designs. I know I had a Hulk shirt of some kind. I can also assure you that I never wanted these pants. Yeehaw! Prepare to get your lunch money stolen, pardner! I knew kids who wore coats like the one with the faux fur collar. They were universally obnoxious. They slapped Winnie the Pooh’s name all over this catalog, but this is one of the few pages where it makes any sense. Oh yes. So much vintage childhood goodness, in pajama form. And it appears that Star Trek and Star Wars could peacefully coexist at one time. Of course The Black Hole and Buck Rogers get shoved down to the bottom. They’re clearly a tier below. And even more vintage pajama goodness, this time NFL style. Back in the days when the Raiders hadn’t traipsed off to Los Angeles (In fact, if you’ll notice they don’t even get identified by city. They’re just “Raiders.”), the Buccaneers still proudly wore the pumpkin orange, and the Patriots sucked. Good days, those. You know you want those “Sears Top Star” tube socks. They accessorize perfectly with 3/4 sleeve t-shirts. Even the red-headed kid can’t keep a straight face with those suits. If that shirt on the model doesn’t come with a kid-sized coke spoon I will be shocked. What’s the point of having zippers on the back pockets, when those pants are so tight you’d also need a pair of needlenose pliers to get your wallet out anyway? Boom, three-quarter sleeve football shirts! Yes folks, the ’80s have truly arrived. Pity the poor kid stuck with a Dan Fouts shirt though. I’m really just including this page because I love all this old NFL stuff, although I can’t imagine too many kids walking around with a Tampa Bay Buccaneers patch on their ass. I would wear these right now, without a trace of irony. The same goes for these fine raincoats and officially licensed warm-up jackets. Although I don’t know about that Bucs one. A giant, safety orange jacket just isn’t my style. And I like orange. Hmmm. I’m not so sure about the hoodies. They do look a little child-like, so I’ll pass on those. But those vests? Yes! Classic. Just totally classic. Sign me up for any of these bad boys, and make sure to throw in the knit cap with the pom pom on top. For some odd reason, however, the Raiders are the only team without a location listed. It’s like Sears knew Al Davis was up to something before the rest of us did. I had jackets like this when I was a kid, and my memory tells me that they looked like more fun than they really were. I’m definitely down for a convertible cap however. Bell bottom jeans with pleats? Denim vests? Yama hama, it’s fright night! And here we come to what I like to refer to as the Jr. Leisure Suit Larry Collection. Whether your teenage son is hanging out at the arcade or doing coke in the back of a conversion van, he’ll be dressed for the occasion! Aw man, now this is just the most unfortunate word placement I’ve ever seen. Let’s move on, shall we? Well aren’t these NFL-licensed separates just the cutest things? Not sure I see the need to have the feminine typeface instead of the regular team wordmarks, but what do I know? Robert Altman’s Popeye live-action movie with Robin Williams came out in 1980, which is the only possible explanation for America’s fourth or fifth-favorite sailor getting an entire page in the Sears catalog. eople sometimes forget that the 1980s didn’t just start being the Eighties on January 1, 1980. It took a few years for the last traces of the ’70s to die out first. Witness, for instance, the “Sit on it!” and roller skate-themed decorative designs on these jeans. I’m not sure what the hell is up with the mailbox backpack. I don’t have much to say about this winterwear other than that I like the stripe patterns. They’ve probably come back in and out of fashion a few times since 1980 but I’m so out of it I wouldn’t notice. Luxurious velour and gabardine are just two of the comfy materials you’ll find in the new Sears Semaphore Collection! Alright, it’s bad enough that people make jokes about the way white people dance, but I’ve never seen anyone jog like Ms. Plum here. Oh come on, now they’re just being gratuitous. Is she doing the Hustle right there?