Sunday, March 29

Better living through your children

For proud parents of intelligent or athletic children, there seems to be no shortage of bumper sticker options for displaying said pride. By now we’ve all seen the ubiquitous “Proud Parent of a Blah Blah High School Honor Student” sticker, or witnessed the proliferation of athletic stickers ranging from the common soccer ball to the newest trend (at least in NJ) of silhouette stickers depicting little Cooper or Taylor playing one sport or another.

This is all well and good but, sad to say, not every child can be a SUPERSTAR despite the most fervent wishes of their parents. So should their cars go unadorned with festive and boastful decals? Hell no! Mediocrity and underachievement should be celebrated in our children, just like it is in our adults – how else could we explain Sheryl Crow’s career?

So as a public service to the beaming parents of slackers, malcontents, and misfits, I offer just a few suitable-for-printing decals for your use. Custom orders always accepted of course…

Hey, a kid with a C average gets the same diploma as an honor student.

It’s an achievement of some sort I guess.

If only colleges awarded scholarships for this.  I think this is one post-game handshake I’d skip.

I know there’s a difference between the two, but they all look equally stupid to me.

Stigma, schmigma!

I’m not saying it’s not disturbing, but you know there would be a market for this one.  See previous bumper sticker for proof.


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