Even though nobody asked, here are my thoughts on bin Laden

So Osama bin Laden is dead at last. Maybe. Probably. It’s been fewer than 12 hours since I saw the news, but here are my thoughts and impressions so far:

1 — I feel not one ounce of joy that he is dead, as this hardly means the so-called War on Terror is over. You better believe there will be another bin Laden popping up any time now. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were already plans in place for more attacks to take place in the event that bin Laden was killed or captured.

2 — This is not the same thing as getting rid of Hitler at the end of World War II, despite many people making that clumsy comparison. This killing is a symbolic victory, nothing more. Its military or strategic value is negligible.

3 — We lost hundreds, maybe thousands, of lives and spent billions of dollars to kill one man, not to mention all who died on September 11, 2001. Tell me again how we showed him what’s what?

4 — It seems kind of hypocritical to blast people if the Middle East for dancing in the streets when American soldiers die, but do the same thing to celebrate bin Laden’s death.

5 — I really hate to sound like one of those conspiracy nutjobs, but burying bin Laden at sea? Really dumb idea. We couldn’t wait to trot out pictures of Saddam Hussein’s sons after they were killed, and yet we’re all hush hush about finally getting the top target on our Most Wanted list? Really fucking dumb.

If President Obama thought he had to deal with a lot of chirping over his birth certificate, he ain’t seen nothing yet. I’m not suggesting we use his corpse as a bobsled at the next Winter Olympics, but even I will have a had time accepting so-called DNA proof and a few grainy photos. Which we haven’t even seen yet, by the way.

The reason people display the body of their loved one at a memorial service is to help bring a sense of closure. That’s exactly what is needed here. Just so fucking dumb.

6 — That said, don’t try to convince me that we disposed of the body so quickly because we wanted to observe Muslim customs. bin Laden spent decades pissing all over the Koran, but now all of a sudden he deserves a dignified, religious burial?

7 — Regardless of what he says publicly, how pissed must George W. Bush be right now?

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