Queer Eye for the Dead Guy
In an effort to make the drab five-dollar bill more appealing (and to combat counterfeiters I suppose), it seems poor ol’ Abe Lincoln has been given the metrosexual makeover he so desperately needed.
“Ooooh, look at you Mr. Stone Face! ‘Grrrr, I’m the president and I freed the slaves! Hey, who are you and how did you get in my private booth?!’ Kidding! So listen, just because you’ve been dead for almost 150 years doesn’t mean you can’t look fab-u-lous! Hmmm, let’s see here. Any chance of loosening up that collar? Maybe a polo shirt? No? Oh well. You know, green really isn’t ‘in’ anymore, but I guess we can’t buck tradition too much. So let’s have some fun, and add some…purple! Oh, that’s hot. While we’re at it, any chance of getting some product in that hair? It’s just not working for me.”