You kids can have your Webkinzes and your Dora the Explorer crap. Back in my day — well, maybe a little past my day — we had real toys. Why, take these Mattel Beverly Hills, 90210 dolls. No seriously, take them. Sadly, it seems this set didn’t include Brian Austin Green, probably because his character hadn’t completely sold his soul and driven his best friend to suicide yet, all in an effort to get with the in-crowd.

Which ones are plastic?

Even sadder is the lack of everyone’s second-favorite television restaurateur, Nat (on a side note, is Joe E. Tata not the greatest name in history?). Despite this, you have to admit this is one rad set of dolls. I’m not sure how you’re supposed to play with them, however. I guess they could preen around your playroom/bedroom and ostracize your other dolls and action figures.

Alas, not even the gang at West Beverly High is as confident and independent as their kickin’ clothes and carefully manicured hair-dos would indicate:

Self-esteem sold separately.

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