Still More Mysteries of the Universe

Dietz & Watson Philadelphia Scrapple
Take out the 's' and you've got the idea.

(For other mysteries, check out here and here.  Or don’t.)

  • Surely there are some ugly mermaids out there — why hasn’t one ever been represented in a movie or TV show?
  • Does anyone in this country really give a rat’s ass about the Olympics?  I mean, outside of the basketball team and Michael Phelps, can you name five American athletes on this year’s squad?
  • Could I avoid a vehicular homicide charge if I run a pickup with one of those rubber testicle trailer hitch cover things off a cliff?
  • How is it there are still men on this planet who don’t understand that if you are in a men’s restroom and there is more than one open urinal, you always leave at least a one-stall buffer?
  • What’s the point of having a self-serve machine at the post office if it’s so damn complicated for most people that it has to be staffed with a window clerk?
  • At what point did America go from the Land of Plenty to the Land of Way Too Much? (see picture above)

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