I don’t have time to go to the movies much any more. So instead I’m going to just review some new and upcoming films based solely on their trailers. Because let’s face it, most movies only have about two or three minutes’ worth of good material anyway.
Ah I see, so it’s like Bad Santa but instead it’s called Bad Teacher. And Cameron Diaz gets to play the vulgar, ne’er do well lead role that Billy Bob Thornton had. She could pull it off, as she’s always exuded this weird vibe of being physically attractive but kind of gross and skanky at the same time. I guess A-Rod is into that sort of thing.
If nothing else the supporting cast is solid. Phyllis from The Office is an interesting pick for a co-star, but I’m guessing that Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother) and Justin Timberlake (Saturday Night Live, shitty boy band) will get the funniest lines. They’re certainly the funniest actors in the movie.
Damn you Disney! I want to hate you so much, but this looks so awesome. I wasn’t really into Winnie the Pooh that much as a kid, but even a stone cold cynic like me got a little misty eyed watching this trailer. Of course the inclusion of Keane’s “Somewhere Only We Know” probably ups the emotions a bit.
Do you even need to watch this? This movie is going to be awesome and epic and epically awesome. I know it and you know it. Is it July 15th yet?
Up next? Waiting until this fall, when the last DVD/Blu-Ray comes out so the set will be complete.
Here’s a fresh batch of some quality interweb finds I’ve come across over the last 7 days:
I’ll get the unpleasantness out of the way right now – the Billy Quizboy/Pete White-centric Venture Bros. episodes need to stop for awhile. Billy and Pete are not nearly as interesting as Jackson and Doc seem to think they are, and diving deeper into their pasts, their relationship, or their neuroses doesn’t really make for compelling television.
Oh yeah, and I didn’t see a Monstroso-heavy plot coming. Not sure they really know what to do with the character, outside of the deep voice and jokes about his size. Isn’t he really just a more normal version of Baron Ünderbheit, a character they ditched for a few seasons?
Of course I’m just joshin’ ya. It’s actually the trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (or HP7 as the kids are calling it, and I’m nothing if not down with the youth of today). But I’m not too far off, am I? Anyway, check it out:
Très intense, no? Is it really possible that the book came out over three years ago? I’ll have to read it again I suppose, since I have little recollection about what happened. I certainly don’t remember the bit with the multiple Potters. I also don’t remember if Voldemort wins or if he gets his hand chopped off then turns against the Emperor – so don’t spoil it for me!
If it accomplishes nothing else as a film, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince provides plenty of grist for the mill of debate over the pitfalls of translating literature to the big screen. Because I think how you feel about this movie will hinge in large part upon your expectations of its fidelity to the source material. So let’s get this right out of the way, in case you’re one of the dozen or so people who haven’t seen the movie or read J.K. Rowling’s book – this film is more of an interpretation of the sixth Harry Potter novel than a straight adaptation.
I took a rather forgiving approach to the omissions, additions, and changes made by screenwriter Steve Kloves but even I must admit to some puzzlement over some of his decisions. For the sake of brevity I’ll mention just a few – having Dumbledore meet Harry at a Muggle train station rather than at the Dursley household, and leaving Harry free to help Dumbledore as he faced death but seemingly unwilling to do so. I could go on, but there enough alterations (some pointless, some understandable) present throughout the entire movie that keeping track of them became impossible.
Of course you can. At least you’ll have to, since the movie’s release is inexplicably being pushed back until July 2009. Thanks a lot, ignoramus studio executives!
Oh yeah, the trailer. It looks even darker than the previous movies, which of course is to be expected, but the touch of humor at the end is most welcome. What’s not welcome is the continuing de-evolution of Rupert Grint (aka Ron Weasley), whose face looks like it continues to suffer the ravages of the full moon.
Courtesy the MTV Movies Blog, we’ve got four new stills from the upcoming Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince film. I’m sure it will just as entertaining as the previous five movies, but you wouldn’t know it from these shots:
THRILL as Draco Malfoy broods in a corner!
District Judge Robert Patterson Jr., who admitted (without embarrassment, presumably) that he found the “magical world” of the Harry Potter book series “hard to follow, filled with strange names and words that would be gibberish in any other context.” (Judge Patterson, by the way, presided over the recently concluded copyright trial involving J.K. Rowling and RDR Books, would-be publishers of the Harry Potter Lexicon.)
Now this is a first – an adult actually claiming that Harry Potter is too confusing. And not just any adult, but one who presumably graduated from law school at some point and is capable of reading and comprehending rather complex legal briefs and literature. And a quick check reveals that, indeed, the Hon. Judge Patterson graduated from Harvard and Columbia Law. Of course that was during the Truman administration, so I guess I can see why he might be so confounded.
So to help the judge to render a fair verdict, I’d like to publish a mini-lexicon of my own for his personal use (please don’t sue me J.K.)…
Spell – Something a magic-type person performs to make stuff happen. Comprehendum stupendum, for instance, gives clueless elderly magistrates the ability to understand books aimed primarily at pre-teens.
Deluminator – Invention that can snuff out lights. Sort of the magical equivalent of the Clapper.
Wand – A stick you wave about to make spells work.
Pensieve – A stone, bird-bath looking thing that lets you store and later retrieve memories, ensuring that the pain and misery of high school will stay fresh forever.
Quidditch – A fictional sport containing elements of soccer, hockey, and cricket. A real-life derivative of the game gives sheltered, socially awkward college students the opportunity to get some fresh air.
Centaurs – A noble and highly intelligent race of half-human, half-equine men whose ability to curb themselves makes them unique among four-legged creatures.
Cape – A loose, open garment worn over the shoulders. It usually serves no magical purpose but does look damn sophisticated.
