Vintage VHS Commercial Bonanza, Part 5 (feat. Carta Nevada, Helena Rubinstein, and Midas)

1982 Freixenet Carta Nevada sparkling wine commercial

And we’re back with another word from our sponsors! Here are all the commercials shown during the fourth ad break of WABC-TV Channel 7’s airing of Von Ryan’s Express on June 19, 1982. We’ve got ads for booze, makeup, mufflers, and… ballet? Actually, now that I think about it, that sounds like the makings of a pretty classy evening. Except the muffler bit.

(Part three of our look back at these commercials is right here.)

Oh, I just love it when square white people break out the Freixenet and get all frisky! (Carta Nevada sparkling wine)

(Helena Rubinstein)

That’s a sweet collection of early ’80s cars, is it not? And is that an old VW Rabbit? I think it is. (Midas)

Like I said, classy is the operative word here. Any time you throw out ballet companies performing at the New York Metropolitan Opera, it’s total fucking class. (Royal Danish Ballet)

Georgia Jagger for Rimmel and the Big Book of British Smiles

Get the London Look and Fit a Tuppence Between Your Teeth

Sure, Georgia May Jagger is the daughter of rock icon Mick Jagger and has a lucrative endorsement deal with Rimmel London. But on the other hand, if she forgets to close her mouth when she walks down the street everyone hears a weird whistling noise.

Yeah I know, all of these models have to have some gimmick that makes them unique or interesting. But seriously, those teeth are frigging distracting.

Georgia Jagger for Rimmel and the Big Book of British Smiles

Jagger's next endorsement deal.

Say, you know who else has the London look?

Alfred E. Neuman

"What, me sell makeup?"

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