Tag: National Football League

A Gallery of Forgettable Sports Cards

A Gallery of Forgettable Sports Cards

Ephemera, Sports
I can't begin to calculate the number of hours I spent as a lad collecting, storing, and trading sports cards. I never cared about their monetary value (unlike many of my friends). I simply enjoyed the experience of opening the packs, looking at the pictures, and filling in holes in my collection. It's a good thing too, as 99% of my collection isn't worth the paper it was printed on. I got out of the sports card scene right about the time it became more of a business venture than a hobby. And now thanks to unscrupulous manufacturers, collectors, and dealers the industry exists now as a shadow of its former glory. There are many reasons for this decline, but as I dug through the remnants of my collection the other day the common denominator occurred to me - most of the cards flat out suc...
They called what?! NFL rules you never knew about.

They called what?! NFL rules you never knew about.

Funny Stuff, Sports
With the recent dust-up over Spygate, more attention is being focused on what is and isn't allowed in the NFL. And let's face it, American football can already be a confusing sport to follow, what with it's myriad of well-known rules and regulations. Not to mention the fact that at least once a season, some poor team gets screwed by a seldom-cited section of the NFL rulebook (think the Oakland/New England "Tuck Game"). In an effort to shed light on some of the league's more arcane infractions, I bring you illustrated, genuine examples of some penalties you might never see called in your lifetime, but can nonetheless win bar bets by knowing. The illegal horse-collar tackle is well-known by football fans, but slightly less well-known is the ol' "righty tighty, lefty loosey" tac...
Does this make me a tech geek or a football geek?

Does this make me a tech geek or a football geek?

Funny Stuff
So apparently Microsoft is developing a web analytics tool to rival Google Analytics, which is one service I already use for this blog. The code name for this new service is Gatineau, named after the Canadian city where the original developer is located. No matter how good the service might end up being under its new name, it's always going to be a little tainted for me because I see the name 'Gatineau' and instantly think of former NFL defensive star Mark Gastineau. So now when I see Microsoft's service I will always think of the stupid Sack Dance he popularized in the '80s (and which presaged many of the inane celebrations that now pepper every NFL game). So there's a little insight into my demented mind.
I bet the flavor explodes in his mouth

I bet the flavor explodes in his mouth

Advertising
Hey, I'm not going to judge Carson Palmer. It's quite possible he really loves John Morrell hot dogs -- so much so that for a few bucks he's willing to display said love and in the process add yet another element of subconscious homoerotocism to professional football. But the thing is, there are certain foods that it is impossible to consume without looking, well, odd. Although I have to admit the mustard in the shape of football laces is a classy touch.    
Uniformly bad

Uniformly bad

Sports
I'll never understand the need for sports franchises to mess with a good thing. Well, I probably do. Over the years, countless teams have ditched tradition and updated their duds in the name of progress. In recent years, "progress" means adopting a soulless, slick look designed to boost merchandise sales. The latest franchise to hop on this visually offensive bandwagon is the San Diego Chargers. OK, so maybe this isn't as bad as it could be. But to me, it's a totally pointless change. It looks more like one of the crappy uniforms found in the Arena league than the NFL. The key to this new design seems to be the totally slick and in-your-face number design. But the inexplicable placement of the bolts around the shoulders doesn't help things. My main question is - why? What ...
Retrotisement – NFL Deluxe Electronic Football

Retrotisement – NFL Deluxe Electronic Football

Advertising, Retrotisements
Hot on the heels of the wildly popular Mattel Football handheld game, Tudor Games released NFL DELUXE Electronic Football in 1980. Toy companies are certainly no stranger to hyperbole, but I think even by their standards this ad strains the limits of credibility. I have to hand it to any kid who could play this and envision themselves in the Super Bowl. Speaking of which - people, Super Bowl is two words, not one. No one ever writes about the Rosebowl or the Meineke Car Carebowl. Sorry, that's just a major pet peeve of mine. Anyway, I am curious about one thing - if this is the DELUXE version of NFL Electronic Football, what does the regular version look like? A circuit board with the NFL logo on it? Well thanks to Google, now I know. It looks like this. Oh yes, a huge improvement. ...