Few movies are more quintessentially '80s America than Rocky IV. It really is a masterclass in nationalistic cinematic propaganda not seen since the era of Sergei Eisenstein and a young USSR. Only in the heady days of the Reagan/Cold War era could a film depicting America (through its proxy, Rocky Balboa) as a plucky underdog be seen as somewhat credible. And if the simplistic political clichés weren't all bad enough, the Rocky IV story is so weak that Sylvester Stallone had the balls to stack two separate training montages right on top of each other. Together they account for nearly ten percent of the movie's run time, and that's not counting the other musical interludes or James Brown's performance of "Coming to America." I caught a showing of Rocky IV on cable a few weeks ago -- b
I don’t have time to go to the movies much any more. So instead I’m going to just review some new and upcoming films based solely on their trailers. Because let’s face it, most movies only have about two or three minutes’ worth of good material anyway. Straw Dogs Well now doesn't this look perfectly life-affirming? Kids, the moral of the story here is that no good can ever come from having a hot wife (Kate Bosworth in this case) and then moving into a secluded house in a hick town with said wife. You'd think James Marsden would know better, since this is almost the same thing that happened in the original 1971 film starring Dustin Hoffman. (more…)
Waaaay back in 2007 I looked back at five flicks that made a big impact on me during my formative years. The next year I ran through four more. And today I drag out another five. Let's reminisce! Better Off Dead (1985) — There is not one part of this movie that isn't 100% awesome, even more than 25 years later. This Savage Steve Holland masterpiece was perfectly cast and written, which makes its more surreal vignettes feel like integral parts of the movie instead of just absurd asides. It never really sunk in when I was a kid that this was a pretty dark film. Hell, the lead character (John Cusack as Lane Meyer) spends most of the it trying to kill himself. Over a breakup. Fortunately he fails and gets to see an Eddie Van Halen-esque hamburger wailing a Frankenstrat to "Everybody Wants S
Kudos once again to the Razzies for doing the Lord's work. There are a lot of bad movies and actors out there, and it's important to recognize the worst of the worst. So here are this year's nominees, with my predicted winners in bold: Worst Picture The Bounty Hunter The Last Airbender Sex & The City 2 The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Vampires Suck Worst Actor Ashton Kutcher: Killers and Valentine's Day Gerard Butler: The Bounty Hunter Jack Black: Gulliver's Travels Robert Pattinson: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse and Remember Me Taylor Lautner: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Worst Actress Jennifer Aniston: The Bounty Hunter Miley Cyrus: The Last Song The Four "Gal Pals": Sex & The City 2 Megan Fox: Jonah Hex Kristen Stewart: The Twilight Saga: Eclips
How can you tell the difference between a simply bad movie and a guilty pleasure? Well for one, when watching a guilty pleasure you may experience at least one out-of-body moment where you scream at yourself, "Dude, what the hell?! There has to be something better on TV right now. Infomercials, Leave It to Beaver reruns...anything!" And yet, objectivity is lost and you keep watching anyway. Such was my dilemma as I stayed up way too late in my hotel room last night watching the 1983 John Travolta magnum opus Staying Alive. I was conscious of watching a terrible film yet powerless to stop myself. I'm not sure what was most compelling - the cheesy dialogue, the horribly dated dance moves and costumes, or the fact that Frank Stallone not only dominated the soundtrack but actually had...