Tag: trailers

Trailer Trash — Straw Dogs, Real Steel, and Happy Feet Two

Trailer Trash — Straw Dogs, Real Steel, and Happy Feet Two

Movies
I don’t have time to go to the movies much any more. So instead I’m going to just review some new and upcoming films based solely on their trailers. Because let’s face it, most movies only have about two or three minutes’ worth of good material anyway. Straw Dogs Well now doesn't this look perfectly life-affirming? Kids, the moral of the story here is that no good can ever come from having a hot wife (Kate Bosworth in this case) and then moving into a secluded house in a hick town with said wife. You'd think James Marsden would know better, since this is almost the same thing that happened in the original 1971 film starring Dustin Hoffman. (more…)
Fall TV Preview Madness! (ABC, 1974)

Fall TV Preview Madness! (ABC, 1974)

TV & Radio
In Fall TV Preview Madness, I present a network television schedule preview special from the distant past. We see the good, bad, and ugly for a network's entire upcoming fall slate. This is it folks, the shows everyone will be talking about at the water cooler and the Twitter this fall. Let's get right to it -- it's the ABC lineup for 1974! Good things are coming to ABC in '74! Like their Daytime lineup of General Hospital, One Life to Live, and All My Children. And don't forget The Brady Bunch and wacky game shows like Password, Let's Make a Deal, Split Second, The New $10,000 Pyramid, The Newlywed Game, plus the human drama of The Girl in My Life. On Funshine Saturday it's time for outrageous family fun with Hong Kong Phooey, The New Adventures of Gilligan, Devlin, Korg,...
GFS home movies: The Thing (1982)

GFS home movies: The Thing (1982)

Movies
I spent a lot of time as a kid watching horror movies, but somehow never got around to watching John Carpenter's 1982 classic The Thing. Spurred on by the impending release of the so-called prequel (directed by Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.), I decided to rectify that. Sure enough, it was great. The Thing works as a straight horror movie in that there are plenty of gruesome deaths and disturbing visual effects, but where it really succeeds is as a psychological thriller. Throughout most of the movie I kept recalling the classic Twilight Zone episode, "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street." The premise of the two is the same -- a mysterious alien entity has made its presence known and a formerly tight-knit group succumbs to paranoia and the violence it inevitably breeds. The main differenc...
Trailer Trash — Red Tails, Johnny English Reborn, and The Ides of March

Trailer Trash — Red Tails, Johnny English Reborn, and The Ides of March

Movies
I don’t have time to go to the movies much any more. So instead I’m going to just review some new and upcoming films based solely on their trailers. Because let’s face it, most movies only have about two or three minutes’ worth of good material anyway. Red Tails Whoa, did that guy just say "negroes"? Is that even allowed in a movie anymore? Well anyway, this looks pretty good even if you have already seen Glory or The Tuskegee Airmen (the latter of which also had Cuba Gooding, Jr.). Johnny English Reborn Ugh. Can't we just get Mike Myers to make another Austin Powers movie or something? I promise to forget that Goldmember ever existed.  Anything to avoid watching Mr. Bean in this travesty. I mean really, groin kicks? The Ides of March Ah yes, it's time for serious Geo
Retrotisements — Back to School edition

Retrotisements — Back to School edition

Advertising, Retrotisements
One of the few advantages to being out of school is that I don't get to experience the huge buzzkill that occurs around mid-to-late summer, when the first Back to School ads start appearing. There you are, all happy and carefree when BAM! -- you walk into the mall and see giant displays of backpacks, notebooks, and other implements that have absolutely no use outside of school. So for the rest of the summer, you can't quite enjoy yourself on the same level because there's that little nagging reminder in your subconscious that any day now, it's all over. See, I don't have to deal with that anymore because I work for a living. Every day is like that, so eventually your soul is numbed and you kind of get used to it after awhile. Anyway, here's some ads to either get you back in the ...
New trailer confirms that, yup, a fourth season of Jersey Shore

New trailer confirms that, yup, a fourth season of Jersey Shore

TV & Radio
For those still concerned about our alarmingly large trade deficit, never fear -- we are now exporting our garbage to other nations. How else to explain this trailer for the upcoming fourth season of the runaway MTV hit Jersey Shore? Get More: Jersey Shore, MTV Shows, Jersey Shore (Season 3), MTV Shows OK, let's see what we got here. JWoww is still preoccupied with her boobs. The dancing in Italy is just as awful as the dancing in Seaside Heights. No orifice for any of the housemates is off limits. Snookie gets behind the wheel and fulfills at least two stereotypes. Everybody hates the Situation. Ronnie finds a way to let his roid rage explode in another continent. The Situation gets the beatdown he has so rightfully deserved for, well forever probably. ...
Trailer Trash — Conan the Barbarian, Midnight in Paris, and X-Men: First Class

Trailer Trash — Conan the Barbarian, Midnight in Paris, and X-Men: First Class

Movies
I don't have time to go to the movies much any more. So instead I'm going to just review some new and upcoming films based solely on their trailers. Because let's face it, most movies only have about two or three minutes' worth of good material anyway. Conan the Barbarian I don't know a damn thing about Conan aside from the first Arnold Schwarzenegger movie (excellent) and the second Arnold Schwarzenegger movie (decent). Maybe Jason Momoa's portrayal of Conan is closer to the figure envisioned by Robert E. Howard in his stories. All I know is that I like my Conan with a touch of cheese and tongue planted firmly in cheek. This new take looks like a real friggin' downer, full on vaguely menacing but generic bad guys. Forgot the title character for a second -- the malevolent and sua...
Trailer Trash — 13 Assassins, Thor, and Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Trailer Trash — 13 Assassins, Thor, and Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Movies
I don’t have time to go to the movies much any more. So instead I’m going to just review some new and upcoming films based solely on their trailers. Because let’s face it, most movies only have about two or three minutes’ worth of good material anyway. 13 Assassins (Jûsan-nin no shikaku) I don't care if I have to bring my reading glasses, this looks cool. I can't help but think that this is a just a Samurai version of 300 (this...is... Kyoto!!!) but that's cool. Lots of yelling, swordplay, and explosions. What's not to love? Thor OK, is there a movie that Natalie Portman isn't in this year? Thor was probably my favorite comic book character growing up -- I followed him with slavish devotion both in his solo series and as part of the Avengers -- so there's already some bu
Trailer Trash — Arthur, Source Code, and Hop

Trailer Trash — Arthur, Source Code, and Hop

Movies
I don't have time to go to the movies much any more. So instead I'm going to just review some new and upcoming films based solely on their trailers. Because let's face it, most movies only have about two or three minutes' worth of good material anyway. Arthur Ah Hollywood, always perfectly tuned into the needs and feelings of American moviegoers. I can imagine that with unemployment still rampant and people scraping by just to keep from getting kicked out of their homes in record numbers, there's nothing people want to see more than a feel-good comedy about a spoiled -- and possibly mentally challenged -- man-child (Russell Brand) flaunt his wealth for a few hours. Oh, but he's really a good guy so I guess it's OK. Whatever. I never got around to seeing the original Arthur wit...