I don’t have time to go to the movies much any more. So instead I’m going to just review some new and upcoming films based solely on their trailers. Because let’s face it, most movies only have about two or three minutes’ worth of good material anyway.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

I quite enjoyed the first Sherlock Holmes, even if it retained very little of the pure cerebral charm of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s novels and short stories. I get that it’s the 21st century, so big explosions are par for the course. What carried the first movie for me was pacing, good dialogue, and of course Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law.

A Game of Shadows looks like it’ll retain those key ingredients, which alone means it will be entertaining. What may take this one to the next level is the introduction of Professor James Moriarty, the Joker of 19th century fictional villainy. I didn’t recognize him at first but that’s Jared Harris (Lane Pryce from Mad Men) as Moriarity. Good show, old chap!

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

That’s right people, you’ve now allowed three of these abominations to be made. For shame, America, for shame.

I’m still holding out hope for the fourth and final movie — Alvin and the Chipmunks: Roadkill. That should earn Jason Lee his long deserved Oscar nod.

Underworld: Awakening

Pay attention, Twilight fans. This is how you do a damn vampire movie. Minimal brooding, actual emotion, strong lead characters (female ones no less!), and no fucking body glitter.

Of course, with no Viktor or Lucian this will probably be a step down for the Underworld series. Still, no fucking vampire baseball.