I don’t have time to go to the movies much any more. So instead I’m going to just review some new and upcoming films based solely on their trailers. Because let’s face it, most movies only have about two or three minutes’ worth of good material anyway.

Straw Dogs

Well now doesn’t this look perfectly life-affirming? Kids, the moral of the story here is that no good can ever come from having a hot wife (Kate Bosworth in this case) and then moving into a secluded house in a hick town with said wife. You’d think James Marsden would know better, since this is almost the same thing that happened in the original 1971 film starring Dustin Hoffman.

Real Steel

Oh Hugh Jackman you cad, you totally lifted that fake-signal-breaking-up gag from Chevy Chase in Spies Like Us didn’t you!

I have to say this looks really stupid and yet really cool at the same time. It’s got all the action and sophistication of Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots combined with the heartwarming father and estranged son drama of Sylvester Stallone’s Over the Top.

No, on second thought this just looks stupid.

Happy Feet Two

This trailer is 1:45 long, which is exactly 1:45 too much to spend watching this pandering, steaming pile. It’s as if Warner Bros. decided to challenge Pixar by producing an even more pointless sequel than Cars 2.

Oh well, at least we get to hear Robin Williams do one of his funny voices for a change.

Related articles

• Kate Bosworth Calls James Marsden a Coward in ‘Straw Dogs’ Clip (moviefone.com)
• The Popdose 2011 Fall Movie Preview (popdose.com)

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