Yes, I’d Like the Rectal Rocket Fuel, Please
The world of hot sauce aficionados is a weird one, indeed. While I can’t handle anything hotter than regular Tabasco Sauce, I would love to be one of those hot sauce people. Why? Because of the names.
Walk into any store or display case full of hot sauce and you’ll see some of the wackiest names for their wares. They usually describe, in vivid detail, what will happen to you should you consume what’s inside the bottle – a certain truth in advertising that’s far too uncommon these days. Case in point: here’s the sauce menu from a Mexican restaurant called Amigos, located in Australia of all places.
If I didn’t know any better I’d say this was a flyer from an S&M club of some kind. Not that I would know what one of those looks like.
You know a place means business with its hot sauce when the disclaimers take up a quarter of the entire menu. My favorite part is the first one under Terms and Conditions:
Due to the extremely hot nature of these products, I agree that they shall only be used as a food additive.
I’m not even going to explore what other uses these sauces could have besides food additive, but my mind keeps wandering back to the whole S&M thing. So now that the legalese is out of the way, let’s take a peek at the goods.
Now this is an impressive selection. Any menu that starts off with a product called Anal Angst is alright by me. Here’s my personal top 10:
- Anal Angst
- Rectal Rocket Fuel
- Blairs Jersey Death Sauce (not sure if that’s a dig at my home state, but whatever)
- Baboon Ass Gone Wild
- Ass Reaper (I’m sensing a theme here)
- Butt Plug Relief
- Hot Bitch at the Beach
- Smack My Ass and Call Me Cindy
- Aussie Ringstinger
- 100% pain
Thanks to Kathy for passing along this gem.
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