Hey, I’m not going to judge Carson Palmer. It’s quite possible he really loves John Morrell hot dogs — so much so that for a few bucks he’s willing to display said love and in the process add yet another element of subconscious homoerotocism to professional football. But the thing is, there are certain foods that it is impossible to consume without looking, well, odd. Although I have to admit the mustard in the shape of football laces is a classy touch.

"Don't worry Carson, this looks totally innocent!"