I can’t tell if these album covers for a compilation series called Metal Ballads are serious or not, but they are 100% undistilled awesome either way. They were released in Germany between 1988 and 1991, before grunge made things like this look even more foolish than they already did, so I’m inclined to think that RCA Records didn’t realize they were unintentionally goofing on the entire hair metal scene. But still, look at these things.

You could take the title off these drawings and pass them off as the covers to some astoundingly bad romance novels. Ones that take place in a world where shirts are but a distant memory and only the tender, rocking ballads of the Scorpions will see you through another hellish day sharing body heat for survival.

Oh and for the curious, I’ve included the original track listing with each album cover. That should tell you whether nor not RCA was serious or just seriously messing around.

Metal Ballads, Vol. 1

Track listing

1. Whitesnake – Is This Love
2. McAuley Schenker Group (MSG) – Time
3. REO Speedwagon – Keep On Loving You
4. Heart – Alone
5. Darxon – Hungry
6. Phenomena II – Did It All for Love
7. Magnum – When the World Comes Down
8. Scorpions – Still Loving You
9. Gary Moore – Always Gonna Love You
10. Steeler – The Deeper the Night
11. Strangeways – Goodnight L.A.
12. Bonfire – Give It a Try
13. Europe – Carrie
14. Nazareth – Love Hurts

Metal Ballads, Vol. 2

Track listing

1. Cinderella – Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)
2. House of Lords – Love Don’t Lie
3. Deep Purple – Soldier of Fortune
4. Quiet Riot – Don’t Wanna Be Your Fool
5. Darxon – Don’t Give Up
6. Poison – Every Rose Has Its Thorn
7.  Bonfire – You Make Me Feel
8. Scorpions – Holiday
9. Kingdom Come – What Love Can Be
10. Gary Moore – Empty Rooms
11. Zed Yago – The Pale Man
12. Motley Crue – You’re All I Need
13. Nazareth – Dream On
14. White Lion – When the Children Cry

Metal Ballads, Vol. 3

Track listing

1. Scorpions – Always Somewhere
2. Great White – Save Your Love
3. Motley Crue – Without You
4. Kix – Don’t Close Your Eyes
5. Warrant – Heaven
6. Accept – Mistreated
7. Roko – Hold On
8. Skid Row – I Remember You
9. Alice Cooper – Only My Heart Talkin’
10. Giant – I’ll See You in My Dreams
11. Deep Purple – Wasted Sunsets
12. Axel Rudi Pell – Broken Hearts
13. Bonfire – Who’s Foolin’ Who
14. Gary Moore – Parisienne Walkways (live)
15. Whitesnake – We Wish You Well

Metal Ballads, Vol. 4

Track listing

1. Lita Ford & Ozzy Osbourne – Close My Eyes Forever
2. Robert Plant – Ship of Fools
3. McAuley Schenker Group (MSG) – Anytime
4. Scorpions – Believe in Love
5. Y & T – Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark
6. Cheap Trick – Wherever I Would Be
7. Gary Moore – Still Got the Blues (For You)
8. House of Lords – It Ain’t Love
9. Damn Yankees – High Enough
10. Winger – Without the Night
11. Marillion – Kayleigh
12. German Rock Project – Let Love Conquer the World
13. Tyketto – Standing Alone
14. Kane Roberts – Does Anybody Really Fall in Love Anymore
15. Crash N’ Burn – So Close to Me

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