OK, there are three things really wrong with this new “Prius Family” commercial from Toyota. Can you guess what they are?

I’m sure the first thing most of you picked out as offensive is, well, the really fucking creepy Mummenschanz/Human Centipede “person.” I don’t think I need to say anything more about it, except that it is nightmare fuel of the highest order and needs to be set on fire.

OK, so the second thing. I hate, hate, HATE alarm clocks in commercials. The sound of an alarm clock means one thing to me — I have to get up earlier than I want to and pretend to care about anything. Hearing an alarm clock removed from that context just feels like some kind of middle-class, suburban PTSD. It’s as grating on my ears as that freaky, lumbering Prius Golem is on my eyes.

And last but not least, how dare Toyota try to ruin one of the better Kinks songs ever — “Got to Be Free” from Lola Versus Powerman and the Moneygoround, Part One by the way — with their soulless shillery!? I will not allow them to sully it for me, and I pray you do the same.

(Oh and let’s not overlook how this happy Prius family apparently doesn’t have room for any minorities.)

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