This Christmas, let Lawrence Welk show you the true meaning of horror

The name Lawrence Welk usually conjures up images of pretty, slightly bland music being played by (sometimes) pretty, slightly bland people. Welk was, after all, the host of a hugely successful, long-running variety show named after himself. This clip of “Do You Know the Way to San Jose” from 1971 is fairly representative of the type of music and vibe viewers saw:

This is how I’ve always viewed the man and his show, so imagine my surprise when I stumbled across Welk’s malevolent visage staring at me from the album cover from the Christmas Memories holiday collection:

Lawrence Welk - Christmas Memories
"I'm gonna get ya!"

Yikes! Now I know why children instinctively fear Santa Claus. I don’t know who thought this photo was a good idea, but Welk looks like he’s sneaking up behind somebody to snap their neck. I think with a slight rewording of the album title we’ll get a little closer to the mood this image evokes.

Lawrence Welk in "Silent Night, Deadly Night"
That's more like it!

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